this last wednesday, we (my roommates and I) came home from grabbing some much needed cervezas from a local beach bar after school. except we weren't alone this time. we had a visitor; a moth the size of a small bird. his wings spanned at least 6 inches. he was perched nicely on the living room ceiling but then quickly made his way to laurie's room. i mentioned the fact that he looked like a bat and i think that must have been his doom. if i would have said "wow what a beautiful night butterfly" then he may have been allowed to stay. he was actually very pretty. however, "bat"? no, he must go.
we spent the next 30-45 minutes of our lives politely trying to shoo him out of the house. first, we just willed him out of the house in our minds. maybe he'll just be ready to return to the wild in a few minutes. umm no. next, we tried the very scientific method of the flailing towel. no such luck. he was a content and happy visitor. ok, we need the big guns. we pull out my commercial size OFF, fully equipped with a fumigator ignition. a few sprays of this oughta do it. no? ok, a few sprays more...he's looking weaker...a few sprays more...he slowly makes his way to the ground...sarah gets brave and picks up a stool to squash him out of his misery...she misses and hits a wing!!...he's still in pain and trying to escape...it's almost too sad to watch...i try to reposition the stool and get him for good...he gets out!! he's flying around again!...we go buck wild with the spray!!...we're coughing, he's delirious... he drops again...sarah attempts the stool again...she hits him!!...except his body is so strong and big that instead of squashing under the stool, he is now holding it up!!...his wings are flapping!!...i swallow what would have been throw-up and walk over to the stool...i quickly push it down....a crunch so loud i think it probably awoke our mean landlord....breathe...breathe again...it's over.... sarah; "we're murderers".
i'd like to report that the terror stopped there but, unfortunately, i can’t. we had pissed off mother nature so much that night that she called in reinforcements from her bff, karma. mother nature is the sweeter of the two, karma is a bitch.
let me preface this, my roommates and I are not greedy. we have been very self sufficient this first week in samara. we were okay with the fact that our landlord only provided us with one bed sheet, one pillow, very few cooking/eating utensils, practically a port-a-potty for a bathroom, one dwindling lightbulb in light fixtures that hold up to four, and absolutely zero cleaning supplies, towels, or paper products. our furniture is falling apart and we have a serious roach problem.
we were okay with this until we found out that everyone else in our class is being perfectly tended to by their landlords. they have been treated like family. they even have weekly, sometimes daily, house cleaners. we were okay with this until we found out that our landlord actually has all the supplies we could ever need, she’s hiding them from us in a locked up cupboard in our ill mentioned bathroom. we are not okay.
we made the discovery on thursday morning. we’ve seen the locked cupboard since day one but it hasn’t been on our radar. i don't know what finally lead us to pry open its doors, a sneaking suspicion i guess. however, when we finally viewed its' contents (beautiful stacks of toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and fresh towels) we were mad, but more importantly, inspired. inspired to get that crap out of there and use it! how dare she hold back on the goods?! laurie held one door pried open as i shoved my arm inside to grab the first towel. it took a few minutes of careful squandering but i was finally able to squeeze it through the crack. yes! we were so excited! we just discovered the key to a happy, clean home! wait..what's this white fluff falling out of the towel? we drop the towel and scream.. its contents fall out as it drops to the floor...eggs!!! there are little, tiny eggs scattered across our bathroom floor. some broken with yolk spilling out, some just slightly cracked, some fully intact, some obliterated into nothing but creepy white fluff.
the worst part? it's now sunday and we still haven't gathered the guts to do something with this karma towel. it's just sitting in a sad little ball outside of the bathroom.